i just made my gag reflex go away.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize