You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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