well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
