So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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