And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She bit a glass in half.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
