Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize