I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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