i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
