just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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