JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
