On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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