I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
