So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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