Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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