she looked like the before picture.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I forget how to act sober
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
