Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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