i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
