i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
