I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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