chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
