her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize