I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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