Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize