I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
