Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
