Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
