real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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