will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
