So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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