Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
