Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
