He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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