I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
