Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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