We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
