he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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