party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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