i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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