just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
