i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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