break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
