this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
