there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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