That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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