You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
