Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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