You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize