I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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