I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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