Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
