One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
