We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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