Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
