Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
