it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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