All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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