If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my liver is dry heaving
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
