Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
