god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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