Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize