do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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