IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
