this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
