do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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