There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
