You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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