Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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