I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize