Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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