I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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