so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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