Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Alive.
So much puke
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
