3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
